C'mon, Hit me with your best shot....fire away.

Well, My Friday was.....exciting I suppose is the word.

As many of you know I drive 26 miles one way through the heart of Tampa every day to and from work in rush hour. There are always near misses, since, as I have expounded upon here ad nauseum, Florida has possibly the worst and definitely the stupidest drivers in America.

Today was more than a near miss.

I was minding my own business, rolling north in the left lane on HWY 41 (also known as 50th street, a six lane highway frequented by semis), singing along to John Mellencamp, when some dousche in a Chrysler minivan started to merge over.

I went to hit the horn when he hit me.
I had a dump truck right behind me and was probably travelling at close to fifty miles an hour (traffic was heavy), and the van was going a bit faster.

When he hit me the S10 started to turn left, so I kept on the gas and turned the wheel enough to stay straight.

If you know what a PITT (Precision Immobilization Technique - Truck) maneuver is, then you basically understand I did a dirty version of one.

The van hit me right about the passenger front wheel and door, placing my tire right in front of his rear tire. He spun across my nose at high speed and did a full 360 into the oncoming three lanes of traffic, slapping head on into an oncoming Chevrolet Silverado, who had nowhere to go, and no chance to avoid the idiot.

My thoughts in the S10 through the whole half second this spectacular wreck took place was along the lines of "Fuck, straight, straight, gas, don't slam the breaks, now pull over".

I assume the Silverado driver's thoughts to have been no longer than "Oh,..."


Noone involved has any doubt that the van driver never thought at all. Once I had the S10 fully stopped, and knew the dump truck behind me was stopped too (ever seen one of them try to slow from 50??), I dialed up 911. Then work. Then mom.

By the time I was done doing that, a member of the Florida Highway Patrol was there, and, since he came from the north, stopped by me first. He looked at me, then the wrecked van and truck, and said "Guess I don't need to ask you how your day is going."

Some days you've gotta love a smartass with timing.

He then looked at the damage to my little pickup, then at the minivan's side, nodded to himself, and asked me what had happened. He already knew just from looking at the two cars, of course.


After I told him, he asked if I had tried to break to avoid the van, I told him truthfully I did not have time to brake and would not have been able to stop had I tried, pointing behind me at the dump truck, the driver of which walked over to us.

The dump truck driver verified everything I said, and the cop asked me why i hadn't gotten out of the truck.

I told him I didn't need to go to jail. He and the dump truck driver both chuckled at that, and decided it was probably a good idea I stay put where I was.

Soon a Fire truck, two Tampa Police cruisers, an ambulance, and two tow trucks arrived and started trying to clear up the mess.

The ambulance wasn't needed, as no one was hurt, which I honestly told the female TPD officer I was glad the Silverado driver was ok.

She kind of gave me a look and asked if I was worried about the van occupants. I asked if there was anyone else besides the driver, she said no, and I told her in all honesty I didn't care about him one way or the other. She didn't seem surprised.

I would have LOVED to hear what his dumb ass said to the police, especially since both the dump truck driver and I both said the same thing.

Come to find out from the female cop, guy wasn't even driving his own car, was down from Michigan and had just totaled his friend's van.

Poor bastard in the Silverado, like me, was just trying to get to work.

All summed up, though, I'm fine, the truck has a few scars, mostly cosmetic as you can see from the photos, bu I will need to get the suspension and alignment looked at, a new tire and wheel (you'll notice the rubber is abraded and the wheel scarred up), and my rear view mirror is AWOL.

Still, luck, reflexes, knowledge of my truck's ins and outs (been driving the same S10 for the last 7 years) and younger years full of of doing stupid shit likely made it possible that I am around to type this out.

If I had slammed on the breaks, that dump truck would have nailed me and the story....well....

Oh, and to the driver of that Chrysler van..........I hope they take your damned license and never give you a chance to get it back.

The REAL version of a PIT maneuver: