well, Damn

I should be sleeping...instead I'm thinking. That sucks. Can't turn my mind off some days.
What am I thinking of, you ask?
Life, Love, All that Jazz
I’ve only ever truly loved three women in my life.
Jamie Vavak, Catrina Granados, and Jill Johnson.
One of them felt the same about me. Obviously, it didn’t work out.
I’ve had a few crushes in my lifetime, of course. Many of the women I had crushes on when I was younger have ended up being some of my closest friends. And before you ask, yes, all of them know I had a crush on them at one point. I’ve told them all, though it took a few years. Though I’m amazed any of them didn’t know. I’m not exactly good with the subtle. Of course, a couple of them had a crush on me, too. THAT floored me because I’m dense when it comes to people liking me. Hell, I don’t always like me.
As for lust…heh. Name a day, I can probably through you for or five people for that day. But there’s nothing wrong with that, I’m single. Or maybe I’m single ‘cause I see nothing wrong with that. Food for thought. And there have been a fair amount who have returned THAT feeling. Till they get to know me. Let’s face it, I’m an AMAZING guy…if you like big brothers or best buddies. Dating material? Heh. Let’s not go there. I’m USED to not going there. It’s ok, I know me here, I’m infamous. ;)
But it's a good thinking...I'm not melancholy about it, but bemused. I know in my heart there's the One out there for me. I've just not met her yet. But recent events have shown me I'm getting closer. And YES, CM, I AM talking about you. But you know that, too. Ok, I really need to hit the sheets, I'm supposed to be up in 3 hours.....